#Babydaddy’s

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Dear Neighbors,

Dat kinderen niet binden is oud nieuws. Dat weet ik heel mijn leven al. Ook ik ben opgegroeid zonder vader. Sinds mn 3de besloot mams om naar Nederland te verhuizen met haar 4 kinderen. Papa, tja die bleef achter in Kaapverdië. Niet omdat hij niet mee wou, maar omdat mijn moeder er klaar mee was. Nu zal je je wel afvragen waarom een vrouw met 4 kinderen, hun vader achterlaat. Heel simpel hij was/is een playboy.

Mijn vader heeft een dozijn aan kinderen, de titel vader verdient hij eigenlijk niet. Wat ik aan hem te danken heb, is dat ik geweldige mensen in mijn leven heb, mijn broers en zussen. Wat is er gebeurd met een relatie krijgen, samenwonen, trouwen en daarna kinderen krijgen? Nu krijgen we eerst sex, daarna kids, vervolgens een “gedwongen” relatie wat er meestal voor zorgt dat gezinnen gaan samenwonen, maar wat trouwen betreft…. Ho maar.

#Babydaddy’s, iedereen kent er op z’n minst eentje. Die ene guy die ergens een kind of kinderen in het “wild” rond heeft lopen. Waar? Geen idee en soms hebben ze dat zelf ook niet. Toch zijn er veel mannen die WEL bewust zijn, van het feit dat er ergens een volgeling rondloopt. Zo ook mijn vader. Mis ik hem? Absoluut niet! Als kind ben je kwetsbaar voor de keuzes van je ouders. Diezelfde keuzes vormen jou. Nu vind ik dat ik best goed terecht ben gekomen voor iemand die zonder vader is opgegroeid. Ik ben geen dief en geen verslaafde, misschien ben ik een beetje gek, maar wat wil je ook op deze wereld. Nu woont mijn vader aan de andere kant van de Middellandse Zee, maar hoe zit het met al die vaders die in hetzelfde land, stad en soms wel zelfde buurt wonen als hun kinderen? Wat houdt deze vaders tegen om er voor hun kind(eren) te zijn?

Veel relaties eindigen. Zoals ik al zei: Kinderen binden niet! Maar niet omdat je met elkaar breekt, betekent dit, dat je met je eigen kinderen moet breken. Het is dan ook zeer teleurstellend dat er vaders zijn die, wanneer het uitgaat met mams, ook geen kinderen meer menen te hebben. Baby daddy’s die hun kinderen niet meer ophalen of op bezoek komen. Baby daddy’s waarbij financiële hulp ver te zoeken is, of baby daddy’s die het meer als hun taak zien om moeders te dwarsbomen, dan er voor hun kind te zijn. Verstandig? Nee! Kinderachtig? Zeer zeker wel! .Vaders, je kinderen, dat is onze toekomst. Kinderen onthouden alles!! Zo ook problemen thuis. Soms denk je dat ze niks doorhebben, maar geloof me, ze hebben ALLES door. Ow, en die ene vrouw, je weet wel die bitch, de moeder van je kinderen, die gaat helaas nergens heen. So, get over it and get used to her!

Stel je eens voor dat je later oud en versleten bent en iemand nodig hebt om je achterste af te vegen. Zou het dan niet fijn zijn, als je kinderen hebt die zeggen:

 

‘Mijn vader is er altijd voor mij geweest, dus nu is het mijn beurt.’ (To be continued….)

 

Love… BellaThe1

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Trust, without it, you have nothing…

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Dear Neighbors,

Asia, Africa, United Kingdom, Europe, Holland, Rotterdam, your neighborhood, in your street. People! Everywhere we look, we see people. All kinds of people. Young, old, beautiful, ugly, strong, weak, you name it.

But why is it that, with all these feet walking around, the only one you can really trust, is those you see when you look down?

Trust, maybe it’s the most powerful word there is. Without it, you have nothing. If you’re in a relationship, it’s the trust that keeps you together. Not even the love, without trust, your relationship is doomed to fail. In business,  If you’re planning on building an Empire with a partner you don’t trust. You might as well start giving your money away for free, because believe me, your guts feeling says it all.

Ladies, have you ever stand in line at a party, and the same guys who were tryna jump all over you just to get in, were the ones who try to holla at you in the club, when their ass is all comfortable? Terrible, terrible, terrible! These guys must think you’re dumb and visually impaired. How can i ever trust you to have my back, if at the doors you left me behind it?

Guys, have you ever had a girlfriend who slept with your best friend? TERRIBLE!. I see why they say, these hoes ain’t loyal, because for real, a lot of girls act like they are about to die tomorrow. Chill bitch.

Let’s not forget about the so called BF’s. Must stand for Best Fakers, cause the number of fake friends is taking over best friends. People have the ability to laugh in your face and plan something evil against you at the same time.

Either in a relationship, or at work, maybe you invite them at your house, everywhere you look, you see people. Some you know, some you think you know, some you don’t wanna know and a lot you don’t know at all. All these people are looking for something. They all have the same goal. Getting there! Where that is? I really don’t know, but people are “selling” their souls for it. Keep in mind neighbors, that they will try to do it behind your back!

If you ask me: ‘You must always forgive someone who breaks your trust, but you should sure never forget it, let alone trust this person again!’

I will end this blog with an african saying:

‘We start as fools and become wise through experience’

Love… BellaThe1

 

 

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What Happened to? #1

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Dear Neighbors,

What happened to late night phone calls and going on dates? It has become something that only the older generation does and not even all of them.

Guys have no shame at their game lately. I’m talking about mostly the younger men. When you start talking to a boy nowadays they don’t say: Hey when are we going on a date? Instead they have the audacity to say: When are we gonna chill? So you would be like okay nice, we can chill. What do you wanna do? At least, 8 out of the 10 times the answer will be: Come over at your house. Do you men study that phrase? Girls, you already know that’s like the baddest way to get to know each other. Boys don’t wanna come over at your place, to be chitchatting, obviously (sorry guys, let’s be honest).

The way men keep in touch with women these days is also ridiculous. Most conversations you have will be on WhatsApp. I think i even broke up with a boyfriend once, trough WhatsApp, because the dude didn’t know how to pick up his phone. It’s also because of this App that the late night phone calls are fading away. Instead of talking on the phone till 3 a.m. we are chatting till morning. The hilarious part about this is that, it’s not because guys these days don’t like talking on the phone, but because they don’t have credits to call your ass. Plus talking on the phone means he can’t chat on whatsapp with others at that moment. WhatsApp is a bad way to communicate with one and other. Why? Because you often get misunderstood. Like when you tell someone you’re not interested and what they understand is: ‘I would like you, to be my new stalker.’
With that said, i’d like to give you guys some advice:
1: ‘If you like a girl, i mean really like her, don’t forget the dates. It shows you’re interested in getting to know her. Take a girl out for something to drink or for dinner. Don’t be cheap!

2: Make sure you also have the phone calls, especially the late nights. Girls love that, could be just to hear where your ass is at. If you don’t have credits make sure you both got an App where you can call for free, like Viber (Damn technology ;-)).

Of course there are more tips, but that’s for another blogpost. I tell you guys, such small things can keep a woman happy and not all up in your “business”, and we all know…

 

You don’t want THAT.‘ 🙂

 

Love… Bellathe1

 

PS: Zie voor vertaling in het Nederlands: Facebook: Dear Neighbors

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Do all women cheat?

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Dear Neighbors,

Do all women cheat?

Ask a guy and the answer will bE, YES! Ask a women and the answer will be an absolutely: NO! Of course women are not gonna admit that they cheat. We studied the guys we used to date: ‘If you’re girl catches you, deny, deny, deny!’ You guys did too many shaggy on us, with the “it wasn’t me”.

Now the “students” are getting smarter than their teachers and it pisses the boys off!

Who would have thought that women will become better cheaters than men? I’m saying better because it’s not that women cheat more, but we can do it definitely better. If a woman cheat, there is most certainly something wrong with your relationship. It takes more for a woman to be cheating on their man, because women mostly cheat with someone they created feelings for. I personally don’t think all women cheat,… on every man. Attention, i said: ‘on every man’.

Like i said before, it take a lot more for a woman to be cheating on their man. Of course you have the “professional cheaters” among us women who made it a profession to cheat, but that’s another story. Earlier it was not likely for a woman to cheat, especially if you didn’t want to scary the guys away. Back then hoes were not as popular as they are now. Now you see the hoes getting wifed up and guys leaving their “home” for them. ‘You still wonder why you get cheated on guys?

If you are asking me if all women cheat, i will say that it might be possible. Maybe there are some women who never cheated, who can tell? Admitting that you did something wrong, is something mankind will always have a problem with. You might be thinking that i’m a big cheater now, but i have to disappoint you guys :-). I’m totally against cheating. I admit i did it once, with my first boyfriend. I’m not proud of it, but it made me see that it was something i didn’t like and never want to do again.

I feel like everybody is cheating on each other nowadays. You can’t trust a single soul on this, i can promise you that. With everybody playing so reckless with each others hearts, it makes me wonder:

 

‘Does it still matter if you cheat?’

 

Love… BellaThe1

 

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Catfish!

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Dear Neighbours,

Everybody knows what the word catfish means ‘Someone who pretends to be someone/something they’re not’. There really are a lot of “catfishes” on social media nowadays, I must be honest.

We girls will never feel pretty enough when we go natural. That’s why we put on make-up or have cosmetic surgery. We weave our hair and put on fake nails. We do all those things just to look pretty on the outside. We post that 1 picture, out of a dozen, which we think is the cutest and sexiest. Because that’s clearly what’s getting the most likes nowadays. Unfortunately it’s not always what it seems in real life. So yes, people are accusing one other of “catfishing”. But after some good thinking about this subject, I realized: Everybody is a catfish!

Did you realized that people are faking it at their jobs, in stores, at schools and most of all in their relationships. I want to talk to you about catfishing within relationships. Nowadays we mostly meet people online. Thank you to the founders of social media, because now we get to meet people we probably never would have met, if it wasn’t for them. So online you see beautiful pictures, you like each other and 1 of you will make a first move into further contact. You agree to meet, hang out, kiss and bla bla bla you end up in a relationship.

At first everything is fun and you really enjoy each other. He looks the same and she looks even better than online. After you decide to sleep together, their will be some changes.

Women:

First she becomes sloppy. She decides to “forget” a panty at your house. After waking up together a few times, she doesn’t look that pretty anymore in the mornings. Instead of her beautiful hair falling down her cheek, she’s wearing a scarf wrapped around her head, and her face looks different too.

Men:

Is that a little belly coming up??? Men get sloppy in relationships too. It’s like their interest in looking fabulous gets blown away with the wind. They also stop putting efforts in doing nice things, like taking you to dinner or to the movies. And here you are, thinking you would see the world with this guy.

A few months later you got a women who’s laxity is clearly showing (she’s not that princess anymore) and a man who looks far from mr. Right. Hold on, that’s not what you’ve “signed up” for. Who is this person? Why is it that in most relationships (not all!!) we are at first very attractive and lovely, but after a couple of months we become lax and too comfortable and show our “real face”?

I think that’s also: “Someone who pretends to be someone/something they’re not” (catfish). Often we don’t even realize our pretending is the reason why..

..we lose each other.

Love… BellaThe1

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