“Naked”

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A naked woman, open but yet so mysterious…

Painting feels like an escape, an escape from reality. It does not have to be perfect, like people expect your life to be. Painting feels like freedom, the freedom to show what you feel, and i feel…

“Naked”

Watch the making of the “naked” wall painting (click on subject) -XOXO-

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Insecurity makes you ugly!

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**Eye-openers**

Dear Neighbors,

Insecurity.

Small word, big meaning…

Being insecure is one of the ugliest things there is. Why? Because it makes you look small. Not small in a way of being short, but small as in; ‘people can walk all over you’. Like, you’re shit on their shoes. Nobody likes to have shit on their shoes. 1, it smells and 2, it’s not easy to get rid off. In other words, insecure people are annoying AF, period!

How can you expect people to respect you, if you don’t even respect yourself? Insecure people don’t respect the way they look. If you respect the way you look, you’ll show it, as if there is nothing that can break you.

If you don’t like the way you look, change IT! Make sure YOU count! Not only for the outside world, but more important: FOR YOURSELF!

It’s not bad to feel comfortable in your shoes and to show the rest of the world that you do. However, make sure you won’t be too self-assured, like a Kim and a Kanye, those 2 live on their own “planet”. That shit, is not beautiful at all! There are people who make it a profession to make others feel insecure about themselves. Most of the time, these people are just as insecure as you are. Confident people don’t have the need to put others down to feel good.

If YOU don’t feel good about yourself, who will?? Nobody, and if you don’t love yourself, how can you make it possible for others to love you? I mean really love you! Isn’t that what we all want?

 

To be loved…

 

Love… BellaThe1

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Depression Kills! #2

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Dear Neighbors,

Depression: How do you get it? How do you get rid of it?

Everybody is able to get a depression, even children. It’s ridiculous but true. I mean, what kinda problems does a child have, to be depressed? Well, it can be everything, from being bullied to being abused, sexually, physically or mentally. Everybody who is able to stress and feel pain is able to get a depression, so yes, even you.

What causes depressions?: Of course it’s different for different people, sometimes you can even get depressed for no obvious reason, but mostly there will be triggers, like:

– being abused or bullied,
– having bad historical experiences with family or friends,
– mental illness,
– arguments, seperations or divorce,
– poor self esteem,
– someone who leaves your daily life,
– stress,
– not being able to open up and talk to others, or have people around you who you can trust,
– being in dept,
– feeling lonely,
– letting others put you down.

So all these triggers can put someone in a depression, but there are also chronic illnesses that can depress someone, like: heart disease, back pain and cancer.

How do you get rid of it?

So here is this bitch, who likes you to feel helpless and not in control. The only way to get back control over your life, is to make a movement. If it’s not a visit to your doctor, take a walk around the block, go to the gym or go to a musea for god sake, do whatever you’re good at. It’s a MUST, that you leave your house and do something active. If you don’t want to do it alone, ask a friend with you. If you don’t have friends, search for a support group. You’ll be amazed by how many people are feeling just like you.

A visit to your doctor is the most obvious first thing you need to do. Especially when you got insurance. You’re already paying them every month to get you guys better, don’t get it twisted. The doctor will ask you about what, why and since when. Together you should figure out a way to manage your symptoms and doctors have a wide range of treatments, as well medical and non-medical.

A few things you could be doing yourself to help you get rid of a depression:

Raise your self-esteem, the way you think about yourself is a big trigger for depressions. Someone who’s depressed will feel worthless and will think in a negative way all the time. You start to neglect yourself and this makes you feel uglier than ever. Do you think your self-esteem is low, visit psychcentral.com, to read about things you can do to increase your self-esteem.

Having people around you is also a must! Go visit a friend or your family, those are the people you should be able to talk to when you’re feeling down. If you don’t have friends or family, go on Social Media to keep in touch with the outside. Search on Google for local groups or forums who talks about your problem. You’ll be surprised on what you can find on Google.

Don’t let responsibilities overwhelm you. Ask for help when it`s already starting to feel like it’s getting too much. If it’s at work, talk to the health department or your boss. If it’s financial, search up information about having depth. Every City got his department for that, because guess what? Money problems are EVERYWHERE.

Make sure you keep a routine in your daily life. Like work, or work outs or backing cakes (could be fun). A feeling of achieving something, is good for your mental health. Being active also gives you more energie, this way you don’t want to sleep all the time.

There are different types of depression. After a pregnancy you can get in a Postpartum Depression for example. You can also suffer from Bipolar Disorder, this gives you mood changes from another level. Did you know that even the change of seasons, can get people depressed? If you want to read more about these 3 and other kinds of depression, visit: www.webmd.com

Having a depression is not weird neighbors, it could happen to everyone, but it does not have to KILL. It’s not uncommon that people who suffer from a depression have thoughts about suicide. People who are suicidal only live at that moment. That moment, when you think there’s no other way out than by killing yourself. It’s not that these people don’t want to live anymore, but they just want the pain to stop. Suicidal people actually want to be heard. They don’t need judgement and a sermon. They need affection and love, someone who listens and understands. Someone who looks at them and says: ‘I’m here and i care.’

Finally,

Since depression is something not likely to beat alone, it’s important for people, to be open for others in trouble. And for those who are in trouble: ‘Don’t be ashamed, you’re not alone.’ Communication is the key! We need to care and help more, because you’ll never know:…

 

When the “Bitch” is coming to your house!

 

Love…BellaThe1

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Depression Kills!

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Dear Neighbors,

Have you ever felt like everything you do, goes wrong? Is this feeling ever been so bad that you start thinking about things you can do, that might stop this suffocating feeling? The feeling of not beeing able to breath and that elephant you’re carrying on your back seems to get bigger and bigger every day. It might feel like your end of the road is nearby, but wait…..

It’s not too late.

Depression… It’s a feeling caused by difficulty. Difficulty in life, who seems to take over your mind, body and soul. Everybody got these days, that you’re feeling sad and useless, once in a while. But what if the days becomes weeks and the weeks becomes months? This might be something bigger than just a sadness. Depression is getting underestimated and not always taken serious. People who got a depression don’t seem to notice this and because of the ignorance, it’s difficult for the people around you, to notice something is wrong with you.

Symptoms of depression:

  • a hopeless and helpless feeling (more than 2 weeks)
  • lack of interest in normal activity and other people
  • negative thoughts take over your mind and shuts down positive thinking
  • feeling like your bed is your best friend and you don’t want to leave it or you might not get any sleep at all
  • You can’t concentrate on easy tasks like watching tv or do the dishes
    feeling guilty and unnecessary
  • being irritable, short-tempered, or more aggressive than usual
  • eating too much or not at all
  • consuming more alchohol than normal or even using drugs
  • feeling like your life is a big burden and you got the desire to leave it….

I don’t know if it’s a feeling of shame that prevent people from asking for help. Or wait… I DO know it’s a feeling of shame. Why? Because people are too judgmental about one other. We are living like we don’t care about each other and all we do is point fingers. We need to stop being selfish and with our nose all up in our phones all the time (for example), because there might be someone standing next to you who’s “screaming”  for your help. I want to write more about depressions, like how you can get it and what you can do about it, in my next blog. ‘I think it’s something that needs to get more attention, because a lot of people are suffering from it in silence.’

 

Dear neighbors a baby who wants something or needs something makes noise,

 

why can’t you?

 

Love BellaThe1

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I hate Dating!

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Dear Neighbors,

If there is anything awkward on this planet it’s dating! Especially the first date. Not to talk about the blind date.

Blind dates:

This is the kind of dating i do NOT like AT ALL! I know in advance that when i go on a first date, with someone i’ve never seen before, this person is gonna see immediately how i feel about his looks. The expression on my face will tell it all (that lil’bitch)!! Imagine you going on a blinddate, which your friends set you up with. You already know your friends taste of men, so either you gonna be excited or you’ll get anxious.

If he’s good-looking it could be interesting, but if he’s not…. You’ll be thinking in your head – over and over again- while he is talking about his sorry life (at least you think it’s sorry because you’re not listening) – how you gonna kill this friend – who got the nerves – to even think – you might be ok with this.

Are you still following me? In other words, if you’re going on a blinddate, be prepared to either love someone, or kill someone (your friend)!

First dates:

First dates are nerve wrecking. You already get to know this person a little bit, but this doesn’t makes it easier. With a first date you got other issues, like:

  • Does he/ she looks the same as the image you have in your head?
  • How will the conversation go?
  • Will there be awkward moments, like silence?
  • Does he/ she smells good? (very important)
  • Will he/ she likes you?
  • Is my hair still looking fine?
  • What if i have something in my nose?
  • Do i have something between my teeth?

And so and so. It’s terrible, for real. I don’t like to be in this position, although i know a date is very needed to be starting something.

My advice for first dates or blind dates, is to go to a public place and have a drink. It’s fast and after your first drink, you can decide to stay or to leave. It’s not decent to leave early while having dinner or watching a movie. Sometimes a first date, can’t give you a good impression of someone. You might be both nerves and acting both Steve Urkel. I advice you women, also not to be picked up at your house. What if you don’t like the guy and he decides, that you’ll be his future wife? Before you know, you got your personal doorman.

I don’t know how you guys think about dating, but to me…

 

Dating is an annoying, awkward and a too much energy costing occurrence!! But hey… that’s my opinion. 🙂

 

Love… BellaThe1

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What Happened to? #1

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Dear Neighbors,

What happened to late night phone calls and going on dates? It has become something that only the older generation does and not even all of them.

Guys have no shame at their game lately. I’m talking about mostly the younger men. When you start talking to a boy nowadays they don’t say: Hey when are we going on a date? Instead they have the audacity to say: When are we gonna chill? So you would be like okay nice, we can chill. What do you wanna do? At least, 8 out of the 10 times the answer will be: Come over at your house. Do you men study that phrase? Girls, you already know that’s like the baddest way to get to know each other. Boys don’t wanna come over at your place, to be chitchatting, obviously (sorry guys, let’s be honest).

The way men keep in touch with women these days is also ridiculous. Most conversations you have will be on WhatsApp. I think i even broke up with a boyfriend once, trough WhatsApp, because the dude didn’t know how to pick up his phone. It’s also because of this App that the late night phone calls are fading away. Instead of talking on the phone till 3 a.m. we are chatting till morning. The hilarious part about this is that, it’s not because guys these days don’t like talking on the phone, but because they don’t have credits to call your ass. Plus talking on the phone means he can’t chat on whatsapp with others at that moment. WhatsApp is a bad way to communicate with one and other. Why? Because you often get misunderstood. Like when you tell someone you’re not interested and what they understand is: ‘I would like you, to be my new stalker.’
With that said, i’d like to give you guys some advice:
1: ‘If you like a girl, i mean really like her, don’t forget the dates. It shows you’re interested in getting to know her. Take a girl out for something to drink or for dinner. Don’t be cheap!

2: Make sure you also have the phone calls, especially the late nights. Girls love that, could be just to hear where your ass is at. If you don’t have credits make sure you both got an App where you can call for free, like Viber (Damn technology ;-)).

Of course there are more tips, but that’s for another blogpost. I tell you guys, such small things can keep a woman happy and not all up in your “business”, and we all know…

 

You don’t want THAT.‘ 🙂

 

Love… Bellathe1

 

PS: Zie voor vertaling in het Nederlands: Facebook: Dear Neighbors

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Physical or bigger Force?

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Dear Neighbors,

I’ve met a guy, and even tho i can smell some “bad” in him from a distance, i still feel this big attraction. From what i’ve heard he’s very loved, so now i’m wondering, what is it about this guy? Is it all physical and sexual attraction (cause his body tho..), or is  there a bigger force at play here? I don’t want to believe that the Almighty wants ME to be with a bad guy, so i’ll go for the physical part.

So here is this guy, trained body, nice hight, his smile got me smiling too and his lips! OMG! Okay now i definitely know it’s something physical. He is like the perfect guy… until he opens his mouth. His voice and accent got me shivering!! Why can’t someone nearly perfect, just have it all?! Why did God give this man such an annoying voice and accent. When a guy calls me at night, i want to hear comfort in his voice, one which soothes you into sleep. Not one who gives you a headache.

I know in advance that this thing won’t work out, i didn’t signed up for this when i was talking to him on WhatsApp. I loved the
“silence” there. But… What if God did send him, and i’m being tested with this voice thing? When we are talking online, everything is perfect. We share the same thoughts and laugh about the same jokes. WhatsApp got people cyber loving, for real.

I don’t know if it’s the same for men, but we women think a lot. We can make whole scenarios in our head (i know you guys know about that). In my head i talk to god a lot, and i do remember me asking for a perfect guy. Although, i know perfection is different in each eye, i’ve got an other image of “perfect” in my head and that image includes a nice and smooth kinda voice. Is that too much asked?

What if he’s perfect for me in God’s eyes…

 

‘Do i need to lower my “perfect” standards?’

 

Love… BellaThe1

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Hard-of-hearing!

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Dear Neighbors,

I’m really getting annoyed with the fact that, ‘it’s always the ugliest guy in the room who got the balls to talk to pretty ladies‘. I’m trying to figure this shit out, because don’t you ugly guys get tired of getting “the look”, i mean that nasty look like Nicki Minaj can give you. I don’t know what’s fun about being rejected all the time, but i do know:

‘Rejection gives men some kind of strength to keep on trying.’

Rejection is awful as well for men as for women, we women get rejected too sometimes. Could be that the boy you like is not interested in you. What can you do? Nothing, move on! I think it’s easier for men to reject a woman, cause there are too many women on earth anyway.

Too bad there are men who can’t take a rejection. All women have met them: The guys who call you names after you give them the “look” or a No. It’s funny how fast you can turn from a pretty lady into a “ho” in two seconds.

Then you have guys who think they are “the shit”, but actually look like SHIT. I’m tired of telling guys that they are not my type. I say this when i don’t want to hurt that persons feelings, but this is not working anymore, so what can i do?

– If i’m trying to get rid of ‘em the nice way, they keep trying.

– If i’m ditching them the hard way, they’ll try even harder!!

– If you block them on your phone, they FUCKING GET ANOTHER NUMBER.

It’s really frustrating sometimes, cause what else can you do?

I know we women love to play hard to get, but this “hard to get game” women play, we play that on pretty boys. We do this, just to let them know, they can’t get all women that easy, with their pretty faces. Now this shit is obviously getting misunderstood by ugly boys.

Men, you look stupid trying to persuade a woman to date you, even when she told you she doesn’t want you. Don’t you got love for yourself? Like we say in dutch: “Every little pot has a fitting lid.” So i guess there is also hope for you.

Unfortunately it’s always the ugly guys who act “hard-of-hearing” and not

 

the ONE you actually want.

 

Love… BellaThe1

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Safe Sex!!

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Dear Neighbours,

Sex is one of the best things that exists, yet it can also be one of the most dangerous activity for mankind. I’m not talking about the different dangerous sex postitions you can use in the bedroom, but what i’m trying to say is:

‘Sex can literally kill you.’

People, especially men, don’t like to wear condoms during sex. It doesn’t feel natural, is the excuse they use. I get it, the sex doesn’t feels the same as whiteout a condom. For example: The uncomfortable dry feeling you get after a few bumps! Not to mention that moment when you have to bring up the condom, that’s an awkward moment too, don’t you think? Shit gets real if you’re both pretty horny and decide to hit it more than once. This doesn’t only makes the sex a bit annoying, but also expensive.

It’s mostly men who decide not to use a condom, women can go along because they don’t want to ruin the moment and because they could be afraid to demand it. What women don’t know, is that when you clearly let a boy know that there will be no hitting it without protection, most guys will not argue against it. They are happy there will be some action anyway. ‘Men, if a woman says she doesn’t want to use a condom, while you guys are not in a relationship, i think you should get the hell away from that pussy. Either there’s already something nasty “sailing around” over there, or she’s trying to baby trap your ass.’

Really guys, a STD is something you can get so easily these days, because people are not that careful anymore. If all STD’s were curable i could understand that people would take a risk, but what if someone gives you HIV or another incurable disease? This does not only means you CAN’T and SHOULDN’t have unprotected sex EVER again, but it also means:
You’re a death men walking‘.

 

Think about it and when you do, take a look at www.durex.com.

 

‘You better be safe than sorry…’

 

Love… BellaThe1

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